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    Affirmative action for Ugly People?

    John Melley - Wednesday, August 31, 2011
    Ok... In the land of Equality of Opportunity Vs. Equality of Outcome, this one has me a little more than bewildered. Indulge me, for this post is dripping with sarcasm. You might want an umbrella.

    Economics professor Daniel S. Hamermesh of the University of Texas at Austin is proposing another class for Affirmative Action... for ugly people. The professor has done some research and from all appearances he's got figures that prove "Ugly people" earn fewer dollars over their lifetimes than "Good Looking people." Life just isn't fair, is it?

    Hey professor! When I was a kid I wanted to play in the NBA. Guess what? I'm 5 feet 11 inches and I can't shoot straight to save my life. That's not fair either.

    He claims ugly people can't really change their ugliness. Therefore, in his opinion, ugly people should get affirmative action... uh... what's the term here... benefits/protections?

    Seriously? How are we going to determine this? Isn't "beauty in the eye of the beholder"?

    What if someone dropped a few pounds or got a different haircut, or a nose job, or dental bonding, etc? Will this take them out of the "Ugly" pool? Will plastic surgeons be put out of business because people won't get as much plastic surgery because they get better benefits being ugly? Did you ever think of that, professor? Maybe we should then give affirmative action protection to plastic surgeons to help them out too.

    Will we be setting up yet another government review board so people who feel less than comfortable in their appearance can get their official "Ugly Stamp of Approval"? What kind of acronym can we come up with for this? Here's one: "BURP" Board of Ugly Review Process. Here's another: "DUPE" Department for Ugly People Equality. How about another? "BUPKIS" Bureau for Ugly Persons Kindness In Society"

    Picture this. A person walks into the "BUPKIS" and says: "I want to be a protected class, because I think I'm ugly. Please label me 'Ugly'."

    "Whaddya think? Is he really ugly or not?"

    "Looks pretty ugly to me."

    "Me too."

    "Whoooooooooo Weeeeee! You're Ug-guh-ly!"

    "All those in favor of deeming the person 'Ugly' say 'Aye'."

    "Aye!"

    "Congratulations, you're officially 'Ugly.' Here's a paper bag. Please put it on."

    "Oh thank you! Thank you so much!"

    What about the Fugly people? Will they get "Uber Ugly" Status?

    I don't think I'm ugly, but I've "got a face for radio" and I've done pretty well, if I do say so.

    To me this is utter nonsense. Our economy is on the ropes. Businesses aren't hiring because of the uncertain business environment and costly regulations and this guy Hamermesh wants to add "Ugly" into the mix. Spoken like a true professor who hasn't a clue about running a business. Maybe he does, but I doubt it if he's got time to study ugly stats.

    This is an ugly idea that should get neither affirmation nor any action to further the cause.
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